Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Be Advised:Too much democracy is an offence

hero of the day: David Bowie

I went to check out the Climate Camp at Heathrow yesterday.

I came home depressed.

I can sympathise with many of the tea-drinking Middle Englanders when it comes to the panpipes-playing, flip-flops-and-dreadlocks brigade. But only to an extent. I am a big supporter of people wearing what the fuck they want (and indeed, within reasonable limits, doing what the fuck they want too) but feel that, at times, those who would have us believe that they have rebelled against all forms of society dress sense by wearing organic jumpers and rainbow shirts have in fact invented a uniform all of their own... but that's another rant for another time.

No, what depressed me was the tension. Everyone was tense. The whole protest hadn't even got underway officially and already the police were out with their telefocus lenses and their bus loads of chunky skinheads. The locals were leering and glaring at anyone with long hair because their fucking driveway had been closed off and the more militant swampy type was glaring back at anyone with a nine to five haircut. Already forgotten by everyone except the middle grounders (who are hemorrhaging numbers to the lunatic fringes by the day) was that what was going on here was completely legal. We all had a right to be there.

My beef comes in several parts this time.

1. It astounds me that this protest is being treated by the press as if it were a bunch of lunatic hippies ruining the fun for a few good honest folk who just want a fortnight in Antipaxos ('coz the little people do deserve a little time off from their jobs in factories don't they?). Could the pampered little Tarquins who run the Daily Mail please have a think about what exactly it is that is being fought over here please? It's the planet. The thing we live on. If these greedy fat bastards get their third runway, so many people will be moved from their homes, the last time anything similar happened was during the Highland Clearances. And Britain will become, by far, the worst polluter in Europe. That means floods and hurricanes and lots and lots of dead people. All so little Johnny in Surbiton can go paddling in Malaga. And yes, even Kensington will be affected. Because your tofu and lettuce sandwich will double in price. And your readership will have halved because Basildon will be underwater. You all spat the dummy when Ken introduced the C Charge in your town. Don't you think that this issue is EVEN BIGGER than that one? Maybe not...

2. Can the police not see that what they're doing is bullying and not policing at all? Why do these people join up? To protect the innocent law abider or to harrass the few people who are excercising their right to protest in the name of saving millions (and I don't exaggerate) of lives? It would appear to be the latter. Whilst loads of plod got shipped into Harlington to push a few crusties around, some poor fellow who had stood up to some vicious yobbo vandal coward died of the injuries he suffered as a result. Where were the fucking law then? Whining on about how we don't know what it's like to do "the job" these days. No, we don't, because we hardly ever see any bastard actually doing it. Listen, copper, fuck off and go after the real criminals. The fat bastards in suits who are fucking the planet up. Go and threaten them for a change. (NB. Decent coppers who do their best to be fair and just are exempt from the above rant... there are a fair few, it must be said)

3. Do BAA really think we're stupid? Hang on... they're still making loads of money and choking us all to death... and the law says they can. So, yes, we must be.

4. Why do the knuckle-dragging yokels (one of whom told me to fuck off yesterday, by the way) care so much about a few road closures when their entire planet will be closed unless we start to do something seriously drastic? People like that are the epitome of ignorant tabloid reading tossers who are simply incapable of seeing past the tiny, pathetic little ingredients of their own lives. These bloody vandals are going to flatten your whole poxy village, garden gnomes included, and laugh in your faces. Why the hell are you complaining about the protesters? They're the ones standing up for you. Hang on, I know the answer to this one. It's because your bog fucking stupid, that's why.

Get down to Sipson Lane this week, if only for a few hours. If you see a copper pushing someone around, report the bastard. If a yokel swears at you, swear back (but be sure to use words of no more than one syllable). If the newspapers lie about you, sue the wankers!

Protest. It's your right!

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Roasted Murdering Bastard Anyone?

hero of the day: Giorgi Chukov (and his Stalingrad streetfighters)
The above tosser tried to blow up Glasgow Airport a few weeks ago. Instead, he blew himself up and suffered 90% burns.
In Iraq, affiliated Al-Qaeda kill groups said that "those who cure you will kill you". Sorry boys, didn't happen. Your mongness nipple-features wasn't up to it so it turned out that "those who you tried to kill, tried to cure you". The taxpayer spent an estimated £100,000 trying to keep this rodent alive. But to no avail. He died yesterday. Damn shame.
Some people said we shouldn't have spent the money on treating him. Of course we should. Providing life-saving treatment to those who have want nothing more than to see us all die horrible deaths may look like the behaviour of a bunch of right-on pussies but it isn't. It's exactly that sort of mercy that makes us better than the yee-hah lunatics who are trying to hurt us.
So bye bye, mate. All the best. But look on the bright side. You've got 72 virgins to look forward to. Or maybe not. Maybe the virgins won't be up for it seeing as you failed to kill anyone innocent. Maybe the truth is that you died trying to kill a lot of people who didn't deserve it when the real war was thousands of miles away. You could, of course, had done the same thing in Iraq because there are lots of people there just like you killing lots and LOTS of people who don't deserve it either. Maybe you just got sick of waiting in line to hurt random bystanders so you tripped off over to the UK to do it there.
I guess we'll never know. What we do know is that the last thing he was ever aware of was the distant voice of the infidel pig who had done everything in his power to save his life.
And that, to me, says it all.